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Disney's first black princess, Tiana
On December 11, a Disney animated movie called The Princess and the Frog was released to the general public. The animated movie marks the first time Disney has featured a black Princess in a movie. For some, this is indeed a milestone. The movie is set in 1920s New Orleans. It is about a young waitress who dreams of opening her own restaurant when a princely frog comes along and convinces her to kiss him. The result? They both become frogs and embark on an adventure, searching for a way to become human again. It’s a classic Disney plot, which I assume ends with a happily ever after.

No offence to fairytale happily ever afters, but they’re not real. That fact, the general weakness of Disney Princesses, and the race aspect provoke reflection on the significance of this movie, The Princess and the Frog.

Although it was planned long before “Obamamania” descended on the world, the movie seems to still be a part of it. It is being hailed as a landmark because it features a black girl and has become another event in a year that some hope, especially in the United States, is a sign of a “post-racial” world.

That hope is slightly naïve. Race and racism exist and they cannot be removed. To promote understanding is key to reducing the latter but I doubt that one President and one movie will make that happen. Instead of confronting issues of injustice that are still prevalent, such as the ongoing and systematic discrimination of people from ALL races and nationalities, certain symbols of progress conveniently allow the people to remain blissfully unaware.

 For example, the jails of the United States are teeming with black men, many of whom were convicted under questionable circumstances and evidence. Likewise, political prisoners, including Imams are still being detained under similarly dodgy circumstances and charges. With the denial of justice to all kinds of people in North America- from the Hispanic Immigrant to the Canadian native to the “Toronto 18” to Omar Khadr and his fellow Guantanamo prisoners, it’s difficult to smile and clap along with those celebrating a “post-racial” world.

Yes, a Disney Movie brought about this reflection. It may seem like a big jump in subject, however, the celebration of this movie in it’s racial “progressiveness” and what that could possibly mean is a bit absurd considering that real life human beings live with a brutal radicalized system everyday, a system that is very far from “post-racial.”

That may all seem very dreary, but it’s the reality and we should not despair. Allah has sent us guidance in every matter. Allah says in the Quran:

 “O mankind! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another. Verily, the most honourable of you with Allaah is that (believer) who has At-Taqwa [i.e. he is one of the Muttaqoon (the pious]”

[al-Hujuraat 49:13]

Also, The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), said:

“O you who believe, verily your Lord is One, and your father [Adam] is one. There is no superiority of an Arab over a non-Arab or of a non-Arab over an Arab, or of a red man over a black man or of a black man over a red man, except in terms of taqwa (piety).”

There can be no greater basis than this to promote understanding and prevent racism and discrimination. And there are some who refuse to learn this- Allah not make us amongst them- and they are racist and discriminatory; that is a reality. We should not look past this reality, nor veil it with frivolous symbols that act as distractions for the people. It leaves us content with a whitewashed version of the truth, dulling the glaring colours of injustice.

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I haven’t watched this movie: I’m simply commenting on media/social reaction to the colour of the main character. What do you think about the implications of the movie? Do you think there are any? Or am I making too much of a cartoon?

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Hooray! We won the Olympic Bid and the Pan-Am Bid. We will flood billions of dollars into our economy just like we did with the Montreal Olympics… Oh wait a minute... That didn’t quite work out did it? (Psst.... the Big O Stadium cost us C$1.61 billion and took 30 years of tax payer dollars!)

Canada doesn’t really have the whole patriotic feeling going for it much but, the Olympics does make us root for our Canadian athletes. We care about our medal count. We start demanding higher allocation of funds for our athletes. Some of us even start dressing red and white.

That’s all great. I’m down to root for Canada and our athletes. But, seriously does it matter? It’s a game in the end.

Why are we so okay with government funding (our tax dollars) going to a building which will be given to a major corporation for beans or for free? A building we will never be able to access unless we reach deep into our wallets?

The BMO Field in Toronto was paid for by you.  I liked one part of the agreement; residents would be able to use the field in the off-season for minimal charge. I still don’t agree with us funding the stadium but hey, it’s a start. So, what happened? How come you and I don’t ever play soccer there? Get this: after one summer, the owners decide the agreement is for the turf ( aka the field) and so they move the turf to some remote location in Brampton and you can go play there. Yes, this a true story, one of many.

As far as supporting our athletes:  most of those success stories are from upper middle-class to upper-class families that could afford sports without our help. We fund our athletes only at the highest level. Look at our grass root sports funding; it's pathetic.

How come we never have enough money for social support programs such as health care or public transit but there always appears to be billions of dollars to give during a mega event?

Let’s prioritize. Winning a medal is nice. But, we have more important things to worry about.


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Re-posted from the virtual-library of Witness-Pioneer:

This sermon was delivered on the Ninth day of Dhul-Hijjah, 10 A.H. ( 623AD) in the Uranah valley of Mount Arafat in Mecca. It was the occasion of annual rites of Haj. It is also known as the Farewell Pilgrimage. After praising and thanking Allah the Prophet (p.b.u.h.) began with the words:

"O People! Lend me an attentive ear, for I know not whether after this year I shall ever be amongst you again. Therefore, listen carefully to what I am saying and take these words to those who could not be present here today."

"O People! Just as you regard this month, this day, this city as sacred, so regard the life and property of every Muslim a sacred trust. Return the goods entrusted to you to their rightful owners. Hurt no one so that no one may hurt you. Remember that you will indeed meet your Lord, and that he will indeed reckon your deeds."

"Allah has forbidden you to take usury, therefore all interest obligation shall henceforth be waived. Your capital is yours to keep. You will neither inflict nor suffer any inequality. Allah has judged that there shall be no interest and that all interest due to Abbas Ibn 'Aal-Muttalib be waived."

"Every right arising out of homicide in pre-Islamic days is henceforth waived and the first such right that I waive is that arising from the murder of Rabiah ibni al-Harithiah."

"O men! The unbelievers indulge in tampering with the calendar in order to make permissible that which Allah forbade, and to prohibit what Allah has made permissible. With Allah the months are twelve in number. Four of them are holy, there are successive and one occurs singly between the months of Jumada and Shaban."

"Beware of Satan, for the safety of your religion. He has lost all hope that he will be able to lead you astray in big things so beware of following him in small things."

"O People! It is true that you have certain rights with regard to your women but they also have rights over you. Remember that you have taken them as your wives only under Allah's trust and with His permission. If they abide by your right then to them belongs the right to be fed and clothed in kindness. Do treat your women well and be kind to them for they are your partners and committed helpers. And it is your right that they do not make friends with any one of whom you do not approve, as well never to be unchaste."

"O People! Listen to me in earnest, worship Allah, say your five daily prayers, fast during month of Ramadan, and give your wealth in Zakaat. Perform Haj if you can afford it."

"All mankind is from Adam and Eve, an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a White has no superiority over a Black nor a Black has any superiority over a White except by piety and good action. Learn that every Muslim is a brother to every Muslim and that the Muslims constitute one brotherhood. Nothing shall be legitimate to a Muslim which belongs to a fellow Muslim unless it was given freely and willingly."

"Do not therefore do injustice to yourselves. Remember one day you will meet Allah and answer your deeds. So beware, do not astray from the path of righteousness after I am gone."

"O People! No Prophet or apostle will come after me and no new faith will be born. Reason well, therefore O People! and understand words that I convey to you. I leave behind me two things, the Quran and the Sunnah and if you follow these you will never go astray."

"All those who listen to me shall pass on my words to others and those to others again; and may the last ones understand my words better than those who listen to me directly."

"O Allah, be my witness, that I have conveyed your message to Your people."

As part of this sermon, the prophet recited to them a revelation from Allah, which he had just received, and which completed the Quran, for it was the last passage to be revealed:

This day the disbeliever's despair of prevailing against your religion, so fear them not, but fear Me (Allah)! This day have I perfected for you, your religion and fulfilled My favor unto you, and it hath been My good pleasure to choose Islam for you as your religion. (Surah 5, Ayah 3)

The sermon was repeated sentence by sentence by Safwan's brother Rabiah (RA), who had powerful voice, at the request of the Prophet and he faithfully, proclaimed to over ten thousand gathered on the occasion. Towards the end of his sermon, the Prophet asked "O people, have I faithfully delivered unto you my message?" A powerful murmur of assents "O Allah! yes!"arose from thousands of pilgrims and the vibrant words "Allahumma Na'm," rolled like thunder throughout the valley. The Prophet raised his forefinger and said: "O Allah bear witness that I have conveyed your message to your people."


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I've been trying since September to get a friend of mine, a non-Hijabi Muslim at U of T, to talk about her experiences on St. George campus. Ever since she let on that she was facing a lot of Muslim-on-Muslim discrimination, I wanted to pick her brain. Finally, she agreed - on condition of anonymity.

Me: Thank you for agreeing to do this (on Gmail chat of all places)!

Muslimah: Lol. Not a problem. Well actually, I'm not gonna lie. It's kind of a problem.

Me: Why?

Muslimah: I don't really know. I don't like to talk about it. Believe me, it's an uncomfortable subject.

Me: Why?

Muslimah: Wearing the hijab is a wonderful thing. When people see you on the street, it feels so great to get that huge smile and the "salaam" from another hijabi, who recognizes you as a fellow Muslim. But I don't wear it. And I think people make the assumption that I'm a bad Muslim, or that I'm ashamed of Islam. I'm "whitewashed."  

Me: Okay. If it's so great, why don't you wear it?

Muslimah: I have no religious objection to it. I think it's great! But it makes me feel uncomfortable. I feel suffocated and it gets painful and tiring throughout the day. It's not because I don't like it, or because I'm embarrassed of it. It's like wearing socks to bed - some people like it, and some people are up all night if their feet are covered.
Plus, I didn't come from a family that pushed it on us. I spent many years in Dubai, where girls would go out in groups and live life without a hijab. And yet - every time the azaan went on, they donned it and prayed five times a day. They were close to God, they just didn't cover their heads. It was natural - it was totally normal.

Me: So, how is it at U of T?

Muslimah: Gaaahhh. It's kind of stupid. Remember how you had that one reader way long ago who went off on the MSA? Ya, sometimes I feel like that. Sometimes I get such dirty looks and such judgment from some people. And when I put on the scarf to pray during the day - they scoff at me. Some people have even explicitly asked me why I even bother to pray if I have no modesty. It's so hypocritical.

Me: Hypocritical? In what way?

Muslimah: In my opinion, wearing a scarf is a teensy, tiny part of being a Muslim. And yet, some of these girls use it as an excuse - a crutch. They don't bother praying throughout the day, God's name doesn't come to their lips easily, and they wear such tight clothes sometimes.

It's like they've proved to the world that they are Muslims, so they don't need to actually walk the talk. I see it as a weakness. I feel like I challenge myself, I challenge my niyat every day because I don't have a visible symbol of my religiosity.

I have to prove to God and to myself that I'm a Muslim - not the lady next door. And sometimes its an epic fail. It's not easy, it's always a personal jihad. But I don't make excuses. 

Me: One thing is for sure. When you wear a scarf, bad situations avoid you. You'll never find yourself in a pub, or in a position where people are presenting you with non-religious things of temptation.

Muslimah: So what? That just means I have to work harder to find good friends who will never do that to me. And I have to work harder to avoid temptation and to make sure people know that I'm a Muslim from my words and my actions, not just my head.

Me: Has this made it difficult for you to get involved with other Muslims on campus?

Muslimah: Definitely. Don't get me wrong - there are a lot of great Muslim people on campus. But sometimes, as a group, they develop a mob mentality. They preach and judge and make claims they don't fully understand. It's disheartening, and funnily enough, its bad for my imaan to be too close to them. I know how this all sounds, and I know how terrible it seems.

Me: I can see why you'd want to remain anonymous about it. Sinner!

Muslimah: LOL. Gee, thanks.

Me: Just kidding. Thanks for sharing =). I'm sure our readers will have a lot to talk about.

Muslimah: I just hope I don't get crucified in the comments...

Me: LOL. We'll have to see...
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Protest shuts down streets in downtown Toronto. Photo credit: Global Toronto.


On Thursday December 3rd, 300 Aboriginal protestors gathered at the Ontario Legislature at Queens Park in Toronto. They were protesting the new harmonized sales tax (HST) that is scheduled to be initiated on July 1, 2010. From Queen’s Park, they marched through the busy streets of Toronto in rush hour, trying to have their voices heard and their concerns addressed.

T
hey came out to decry against McGuinty’s new law, which would make them no longer exempt from paying the PST (Provincial sales tax), as it will be blended with the GST (goods and services tax). The result of the HST for Ontarians and Aboriginals will be an increase in the price of some goods and services. We will all feel “the pinch”, but natives more so, as many in their communities live in abject poverty. To address the possible deterioration in their living conditions, Premier McGuinty and Provincial Finance Minister Dwight Duncan have said they are appealing to Ottawa for an exemption for Aboriginals from the HST.

Giv
en the important history of Aboriginals in this country, it’s very surprising that the Premier had apparently not consulted with the communities about the potential effects of the tax on them. Or, maybe not. Aboriginal issues are in the news a lot when there is a crisis, like the Aboriginal protests in Caledonia in 2006. But as soon as the crisis is calmed, the issue of their living conditions is completely ignored.

A
nd that’s just the problem with the way Canada deals with Aboriginal concerns: the crises are calmed but are never really solved. This protest did not turn violent, but it strongly symbolized the marginalization of Aboriginals in Canada. They are not a huge voting bloc, and don’t seem to hold much sway in Canadian politics – though not for lack of trying. And they are plagued with social ills that people blame on stupidity, or laziness: unemployment, AIDs, drug abuse, and illiteracy.

Th
ey came, they marched, and they went home. The HST will most likely be implemented as planned, on July 1. Parliament approved the legislation the same day as the protest. The media reports on the protest were far more concerned with traffic blockages than with investigating the root cause of native complaints.

T
his country might want to begin to try to address these issues, grant Aboriginals their rights, and aid their communities before the next crisis.  

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  On November 29, 2009 the Swiss Confederation (Switzerland) had a Referendum on banning the construction of new minarets in the country after the Swiss People’s Party (SVP) prompted the vote. 57.5% of voters voted yes to banning the construction of minarets.  

Observers say that it is very surprising that 57.5% of Swiss voters, in a country that has been renowned for its ‘tolerance’ and political neutrality, voted for such an initiative. The vote seems all the more surprising, as there are only four minarets in Switzerland.

So why the vote? The far right SVP claims that minarets are “a symbol of Islamic power” and are indicative of growing “Islamisation of the country.” These comments and the inflammatory posters used by the SVP, of a Muslimah in a burka standing in front of black missile-like minarets shooting from a Swiss map/flag, have raised concerns about the growing Islamophobia in the country. 

In Europe as a whole, countries have been struggling with how to balance their policies of toleration with their fears of Islam. And that is exactly what this vote represents: fear. It is unfounded, irrational fear. It is the fear that led France to ban hijabs in public schools, it is that fear that has resulted in the rise of right-wing anti Muslims parties in Europe- the SVP is the largest party in Switzerland’s Parliament.

Naturally, as a Muslim, when one sees such blatant attacks against the expression of identity, it is very upsetting. However, we might want to keep in mind this question: what are we doing about it? It seems that in this referendum, as in the case of France and hijabs, ignorance of Muslims and Islam has prevailed.

However, these kinds of events excellent opportunities to stop and explain to people that Islam teaches us to be just, charitable, and kind.  Not just that, we are Muslims and we are not meek. Therefore, if there is a need to stand up for justice, human dignity, and fundamental rights, we will- regardless of right-wing (or other) people that would call us extremists, terrorists or anything else.

It seems such vocal advocates for tolerance are quiet in Europe – or simply muted.

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Hey there KIH. Let me get straight to the point.

 I feel like everything in my life is going wrong and it’s not getting any better. My family just keeps fighting with each other. I understand that every family has their problems and I know as a Muslim I’m supposed to be patient but I just can’t handle it anymore. Is there anything I can do or pray to make this better? I’m going crazy and school is already frustrating me…my family is one stressor too many.

--Sister.

Assalamu Alaikum,

I totally understand how you feel. Exams are coming up, and assignments are due, and that’s pretty much the biggest bump in the road we students have to face. I know it’s hard and so far, from what I understand, you’ve been doing your best to be patient and understanding about your situation.

Allah, the Exalted, says: "O you who believe! Endure and be more patient." (Qur’an- 3:200) The patience you are exhibiting right now is the best idea. Also, try to avoid expressing any anger at your family. That is the worst way to end the problem, trust me. 
I suggest that you should talk to someone like a close friend about what you’re feeling. That’s usually the best way for me to feel better when I encounter a problem that I feel helpless about. Try not to keep things bottled up.

If you are close to your family, then may I suggest that you try and speak to them about how you feel? Maybe they don’t realize that it is affecting you as much, or perhaps they need to realize that it’s time to put things aside and love each other for the sake of Allah.

One thing that is important though, I think, is that you need to remember to focus on your school work, whatever it may be. I know it may be hard to ignore the problems at hand, but try and prioritize; tackling one thing at a time will really help ease the tension. Just keep in  mind that "Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full, without reckoning.'' (Qur’an- 39:10)

To do this, it may be best if you try to separate yourself from the situation - try to spend more time at school, on campus or with a friend. When you're at home, try to stay uniDistance yourself from the situation so you can get some perspective, and some peace of mind.

I really hope this helps. I don’t have extensive Islamic knowledge, nor am I a scholar. If you feel that you were offended or hurt in any way possible, please feel free to let me know, and I apologize in advance. Wa’laikum Salaam.
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"What?!? You're going to go see Precious before the holidays? That's so depressing..."

That was the reaction I got from nearly everyone when I asked them about coming with me to see Daniel Lee's new movie "Precious" (based on the novel "Push" by Sapphire).

It's the story of a 400 pound, poor, black, 16-year-old girl who is physically, emotionally and sexually abused by both of her parents. Her first child by her father has Down's Syndrome and she is pregnant with another.

So yes, I can see how this comes off as depressing.

And yet, for some reason, it was strangely hopeful. Even with such a plot base, it wasn't sad for the sake of being sad. At its core, it reminded viewers that family is a privilege, not a right. In other words, you don't get to be a mother or daughter just by birthright. It is a title that must be earned. The role of any individual in a family has come to take on an entirely socially constructed meaning. If you don't act appropriately in your role, the title is taken away from you.

When I left the theatre, my sister said "well, if one good thing came out of that movie, it's that it really makes you appreciate your parents."

I guess. But I didn't walk in there to hear some sob story about a terrible family, so that I could feel better about mine. Instead, Precious is a story about a girl who, against all odds, decides that she is worth the fight. She decides that despite what her mother tells her, she has potential. She decides that its okay to dream big and shine on.

The acting is amazing. Mo'nique plays Precious' mother, and she is unrecognizable as her normal comedic self. And Gabourey Sidibe plays Claireece "Precious" Jones with such a quiet grace, that she deserves an Oscar simply for not overacting this role.

Paula Patton and Mariah Carey play two strong figures in Precious' life: her teacher at an alternative school, and her social worker, respectively. What becomes clear is that even though they are strong, black females... they can't handle Precious. All they can do is love her, and that's all she needs. They can't even begin to understand her.

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Mo'Nique, in a rage against Precious

The most compelling scene in the movie is when the social worker arranges for Precious and her mother to meet, in order to reconcile. Her mother's monologue is epic and beautiful. I streamed the movie at home online, just so I could watch that scene over and over again. The viewer sees that her pain and her problems run deep: rather than fully acknowledging that Precious was abused by her father at the age of three, she accuses Precious of "stealing her man." It's such a shocking scene.

It was interesting that KIH just recently talked about discrimination, and "crying racism" like "crying wolf" (See our article on the "Best Halloween Costume at U of T"). Many critics have accused Precious of propagated "black America" stereotypes, because it's a family of fat, violent, uneducated, illiterate people on welfare. In one scene, Precious even steals a bucket of fried chicken for breakfast.

It's a criticism that is misguided and ill-informed. It ignores that these stories do exist, and that people do lead these kinds of lives. And it ignores the other non-stereotypical, innovative black figures in her life, including her lesbian teacher, and her male nurse, played by Lenny Kravitz. It's a useless way to describe this movie. In fact, you could easily replace black Precious with a white Precious or a brown Preeti.

At the heart of it, It's a simple story about a young girl who can teach us all a thing or two about never letting anyone get in your way. She has a light in her soul, that shines for herself and everyone around her; one that we can only aspire to replicate in our own lives.

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We talk a great deal about the clash of values and the clash of interests between the old and the new. Nothing made this discussion more real than this online blog I came across the other day, called "Coping with Polygamy: A First Wife's Jihad."

It is a personal and intimate account about what it was like for Umm Janna - an educated, modern and deeply religious woman -  to become part of a polygamous relationship.

What follows are some of the most fascinating excerpts from her book/blog, which is available online.

It's an interesting read because her sorrow is painfully evident. So it forces the reader to ask: is she making a sacrifice for Allah? Or is putting herself and her future children through unnecessary problems? Is she a martyr or is she the pathetic victim of a bad marriage? It is so easy to pass judgment, but so hard to actually understand what she is going through until you are living it yourself.  


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From the chapter "The Shock":
The intensity and persistence of the pain and hurt that I felt when my husband took another wife was unlike anything I had ever experienced before in my life.  Most of us probably associate the most difficult trial of all with the loss of a loved one.  When I first began writing this book, about five years ago, I hadn’t lost anyone in my family that was very close to me.  Since then I have; that was certainly a difficult period in my life. Every situation is different, though, and everyone’s reality is different. For me, polygamy continues to be the most difficult trial I have ever had to deal with.  We thank Allah for the good and the bad. I remember quite vividly the day my husband broke the news to me.  My husband, children and I were riding home in the car.  As we pulled up into the driveway for my husband to let us out before he parked, he said, “I’m marrying the [other] sister.”  I suddenly felt numb and dazed, robot-like.  I got out of the car, unlocked the front door and entered the house.  I felt almost like in a dream world.  I can recall waiting for him to say he was just kidding.  But he never did. The first night was the most traumatic of all, although many other nights and days competed closely.  Because I was still pretty much in shock, the reality of what this all meant to me hadn’t really set in.  What I did realize was a gut wrenching agony, loneliness and sadness.  The loneliness was beyond loneliness where I wished for companionship.  It was a loneliness of emptiness, one of loss.  It was at this point that I realized that I had no one but my Lord—Allah. I do not recall sleeping at all that entire night.  I made dhikr almost continuously.  When I wasn’t making dhikr I was making salat and dua.  And through all of it I cried…probably the whole night through.

For every pain that a Muslim experiences even the pricking of his finger with a thorn, some of his sins are forgiven. (Bukhari)

Some people feel they are being weak if they cry.  But according to one hadith the Prophet (saw) cried when he was saddened.  And he is the best of models.  When the son of The Prophet’s daughter was dying, she sent for The Prophet (saw).  He sent a message back for her to be patient.  She sent for him again.  He then met her and held the baby.  Tears fell from his eyes.  His companion asked, “Oh Rasullulah, what is this?”  He said, “They are tears of mercy.  And Allah does not have mercy on those who do not have mercy. (Bukharai)

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From "The Depression":
After the initial shock subsided somewhat, I went into a deep and long depression.  I felt ashamed, embarrassed, and rejected.  How could he have married someone else unless there was something wrong with me?  I had low self-esteem.  He does not love me anymore.  She has taken my place.  For the most part, Allah blessed me to stay in control of my emotions and maintain my dignity in front of others when I went out to masjid functions during the initial period. This was a very difficult period for me because almost every community activity that I attended the other sister was also there. Although I tried to conceal my feelings in public, at home is where I let most of my pain and hurt show.

Initially I did not completely comprehend how long and tiresome the journey in polygamy would be.  Fortunately Allah blessed me to have spurts of energy filled with generosity and kindness towards the other sister in the beginning.  I am not saying that there were not times that my feelings of anger and resentment did not come through.  There were certainly times that I behaved in a way that I would not consider appropriate as a Muslim sister.  But over all when I consider the intensity of the feelings that I felt at that time, and compare that with how I interacted with the sister, I conclude that my actions were generous indeed, by the mercy of Allah.

I had asked for a “divorce” several times from my husband. This was done during the earlier periods of my difficulty with polygamy.  That is not to say I do not think about divorce even now.  The pain, turmoil and unfathomable adjustment just seemed too difficult to bear.  I can see the wisdom in divorce not being in the hands of the wife.  I knew inside that I really didn’t want it.  I just wanted my husband to feel my pain and anguish and I wanted the hurt to go away. When thinking about the hardship of polygamy a sister must keep in mind that Allah Most High knows His creation better than the creation knows itself.  He knows why He has made the lawful, permissible and the forbidden, impermissible—even if we do not.  He knows the emotional disposition of the woman, for He created her.  He could have made her character different if He had chosen to.  Although it may be hard or almost impossible for a first wife to see the wisdom of polygamy for the first wife, she must suffice it to believe that Allah is sufficient to maintain her affairs.  And she must put her trust in Him.

One of several recourses some sisters take in response to their pain is going into seclusion.  This seems to be the road I have taken. I am not necessarily recommending this for anyone, but it is a choice.  Even though I was somewhat shy in the past, polygamy presented so many emotional and social conflicts for me in public that being a hermit seemed a reasonable solution. I call it being a hermit.  Some may see staying home a lot as a positive Islamic characteristic for Muslim women.  Everyone is different, and everyone has different needs.   People are inclined to various coping mechanisms, and everyone has a unique personality type.

I found myself growing less sociable as time went by.  I would often sit by myself when in public reflecting on and contemplating my situation.  I would sit staring straight ahead in thought.  Once when I was sitting in a waiting room while visiting the doctor, someone made the comment to me, “You look like you just lost your husband”.  Apparently the anguish in my face was so obvious.  It is interesting how this person chose to describe my expression, because polygamy is a loss—a loss of so many things.  It is a loss of social status, a loss of being the sole affection of your husband, a loss of normalcy in one’s life pattern and to some degree, yes, a loss of your husband himself.

My depression led to daily, and I mean daily, crying spells.  I spent so much time in my room lying in bed that I still today regret that I was unable to give my children much of the attention they needed at that time.  I can see how an extended family of grandparents and aunts would have been a great benefit to them in order to fill the void,  and Allah knows best.

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Pakistan is a place that has undergone extreme turmoil in recent years. A lot of that turmoil trickles from decisions made at the highest levels of government. These decisions only work to submerge the local peoples in hardship. Whether that hardship is brought on by dictatorial presidents, corrupt officials and police, or insidious Taliban, the people always seem to be the ones that suffer most.

A new development was announced today by the extremely unpopular President Asif Ali Zadari. He has handed control of Pakistan’s nuclear weapons to the Prime Minister, Yousuf Raza Gilani.

Although the President reportedly took this step in order to empower Parliament, some political analysts have said that it is a move to ensure that President Zardari stays in power. An amnesty negotiated by former Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto, Mr. Zardari’s deceased wife, with former President Pervez Musharraf, expired on November 28. The amnesty granted immunity from prosecution of corruption charges to “thousands of politicians, lawyers, and bureaucrats.” The expiration of that amnesty, some observers say, is why he chose to devolve the control of Pakistan’s Nuclear weapons to Parliament and the Prime Minister.

Whatever the reason, it’s true one problem is unsolved by the political manoeuvre: the harrowing condition of Pakistan’s people. They are caught between an economic crisis, decaying infrastructure, a corrupt government, NATO air strikes, suicide bombs and no champion.

Added to all of that is the flood of refugees from the Federally Administered Tribal Areas who are fleeing fighting between insurgents and the government and are facing terrible conditions in the camps.

It is clear that the problems Pakistanis face are not simple, nor can they easily be solved. The President’s calculated political move doesn’t address them and so the problems remain persistent and dangerous.

However, it’s not all bad news. There seems to be a sense in Pakistan that a change has to occur, although it’s unclear what the change needs to be. Pakistanis have survived crises before, even if they were not as bloody or as consuming as the present one. And they will survive this one too, bi’ithnillah (with the permission of Allah).

Read source article at: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/8384555.stm

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