Hooray! We won the Olympic Bid and the Pan-Am Bid. We will flood billions of dollars into our economy just like we did with the Montreal Olympics… Oh wait a minute... That didn’t quite work out did it? (Psst.... the Big O Stadium cost us C$1.61 billion and took 30 years of tax payer dollars!)

Canada doesn’t really have the whole patriotic feeling going for it much but, the Olympics does make us root for our Canadian athletes. We care about our medal count. We start demanding higher allocation of funds for our athletes. Some of us even start dressing red and white.

That’s all great. I’m down to root for Canada and our athletes. But, seriously does it matter? It’s a game in the end.

Why are we so okay with government funding (our tax dollars) going to a building which will be given to a major corporation for beans or for free? A building we will never be able to access unless we reach deep into our wallets?

The BMO Field in Toronto was paid for by you.  I liked one part of the agreement; residents would be able to use the field in the off-season for minimal charge. I still don’t agree with us funding the stadium but hey, it’s a start. So, what happened? How come you and I don’t ever play soccer there? Get this: after one summer, the owners decide the agreement is for the turf ( aka the field) and so they move the turf to some remote location in Brampton and you can go play there. Yes, this a true story, one of many.

As far as supporting our athletes:  most of those success stories are from upper middle-class to upper-class families that could afford sports without our help. We fund our athletes only at the highest level. Look at our grass root sports funding; it's pathetic.

How come we never have enough money for social support programs such as health care or public transit but there always appears to be billions of dollars to give during a mega event?

Let’s prioritize. Winning a medal is nice. But, we have more important things to worry about.

Re-posted from the virtual-library of Witness-Pioneer:

This sermon was delivered on the Ninth day of Dhul-Hijjah, 10 A.H. ( 623AD) in the Uranah valley of Mount Arafat in Mecca. It was the occasion of annual rites of Haj. It is also known as the Farewell Pilgrimage. After praising and thanking Allah the Prophet (p.b.u.h.) began with the words:

"O People! Lend me an attentive ear, for I know not whether after this year I shall ever be amongst you again. Therefore, listen carefully to what I am saying and take these words to those who could not be present here today."

"O People! Just as you regard this month, this day, this city as sacred, so regard the life and property of every Muslim a sacred trust. Return the goods entrusted to you to their rightful owners. Hurt no one so that no one may hurt you. Remember that you will indeed meet your Lord, and that he will indeed reckon your deeds."

"Allah has forbidden you to take usury, therefore all interest obligation shall henceforth be waived. Your capital is yours to keep. You will neither inflict nor suffer any inequality. Allah has judged that there shall be no interest and that all interest due to Abbas Ibn 'Aal-Muttalib be waived."

"Every right arising out of homicide in pre-Islamic days is henceforth waived and the first such right that I waive is that arising from the murder of Rabiah ibni al-Harithiah."

"O men! The unbelievers indulge in tampering with the calendar in order to make permissible that which Allah forbade, and to prohibit what Allah has made permissible. With Allah the months are twelve in number. Four of them are holy, there are successive and one occurs singly between the months of Jumada and Shaban."

"Beware of Satan, for the safety of your religion. He has lost all hope that he will be able to lead you astray in big things so beware of following him in small things."

"O People! It is true that you have certain rights with regard to your women but they also have rights over you. Remember that you have taken them as your wives only under Allah's trust and with His permission. If they abide by your right then to them belongs the right to be fed and clothed in kindness. Do treat your women well and be kind to them for they are your partners and committed helpers. And it is your right that they do not make friends with any one of whom you do not approve, as well never to be unchaste."

"O People! Listen to me in earnest, worship Allah, say your five daily prayers, fast during month of Ramadan, and give your wealth in Zakaat. Perform Haj if you can afford it."

"All mankind is from Adam and Eve, an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a White has no superiority over a Black nor a Black has any superiority over a White except by piety and good action. Learn that every Muslim is a brother to every Muslim and that the Muslims constitute one brotherhood. Nothing shall be legitimate to a Muslim which belongs to a fellow Muslim unless it was given freely and willingly."

"Do not therefore do injustice to yourselves. Remember one day you will meet Allah and answer your deeds. So beware, do not astray from the path of righteousness after I am gone."

"O People! No Prophet or apostle will come after me and no new faith will be born. Reason well, therefore O People! and understand words that I convey to you. I leave behind me two things, the Quran and the Sunnah and if you follow these you will never go astray."

"All those who listen to me shall pass on my words to others and those to others again; and may the last ones understand my words better than those who listen to me directly."

"O Allah, be my witness, that I have conveyed your message to Your people."

As part of this sermon, the prophet recited to them a revelation from Allah, which he had just received, and which completed the Quran, for it was the last passage to be revealed:

This day the disbeliever's despair of prevailing against your religion, so fear them not, but fear Me (Allah)! This day have I perfected for you, your religion and fulfilled My favor unto you, and it hath been My good pleasure to choose Islam for you as your religion. (Surah 5, Ayah 3)

The sermon was repeated sentence by sentence by Safwan's brother Rabiah (RA), who had powerful voice, at the request of the Prophet and he faithfully, proclaimed to over ten thousand gathered on the occasion. Towards the end of his sermon, the Prophet asked "O people, have I faithfully delivered unto you my message?" A powerful murmur of assents "O Allah! yes!"arose from thousands of pilgrims and the vibrant words "Allahumma Na'm," rolled like thunder throughout the valley. The Prophet raised his forefinger and said: "O Allah bear witness that I have conveyed your message to your people."

I've been trying since September to get a friend of mine, a non-Hijabi Muslim at U of T, to talk about her experiences on St. George campus. Ever since she let on that she was facing a lot of Muslim-on-Muslim discrimination, I wanted to pick her brain. Finally, she agreed - on condition of anonymity.

Me: Thank you for agreeing to do this (on Gmail chat of all places)!

Muslimah: Lol. Not a problem. Well actually, I'm not gonna lie. It's kind of a problem.

Me: Why?

Muslimah: I don't really know. I don't like to talk about it. Believe me, it's an uncomfortable subject.

Me: Why?

Muslimah: Wearing the hijab is a wonderful thing. When people see you on the street, it feels so great to get that huge smile and the "salaam" from another hijabi, who recognizes you as a fellow Muslim. But I don't wear it. And I think people make the assumption that I'm a bad Muslim, or that I'm ashamed of Islam. I'm "whitewashed."  

Me: Okay. If it's so great, why don't you wear it?

Muslimah: I have no religious objection to it. I think it's great! But it makes me feel uncomfortable. I feel suffocated and it gets painful and tiring throughout the day. It's not because I don't like it, or because I'm embarrassed of it. It's like wearing socks to bed - some people like it, and some people are up all night if their feet are covered.
Plus, I didn't come from a family that pushed it on us. I spent many years in Dubai, where girls would go out in groups and live life without a hijab. And yet - every time the azaan went on, they donned it and prayed five times a day. They were close to God, they just didn't cover their heads. It was natural - it was totally normal.

Me: So, how is it at U of T?

Muslimah: Gaaahhh. It's kind of stupid. Remember how you had that one reader way long ago who went off on the MSA? Ya, sometimes I feel like that. Sometimes I get such dirty looks and such judgment from some people. And when I put on the scarf to pray during the day - they scoff at me. Some people have even explicitly asked me why I even bother to pray if I have no modesty. It's so hypocritical.

Me: Hypocritical? In what way?

Muslimah: In my opinion, wearing a scarf is a teensy, tiny part of being a Muslim. And yet, some of these girls use it as an excuse - a crutch. They don't bother praying throughout the day, God's name doesn't come to their lips easily, and they wear such tight clothes sometimes.

It's like they've proved to the world that they are Muslims, so they don't need to actually walk the talk. I see it as a weakness. I feel like I challenge myself, I challenge my niyat every day because I don't have a visible symbol of my religiosity.

I have to prove to God and to myself that I'm a Muslim - not the lady next door. And sometimes its an epic fail. It's not easy, it's always a personal jihad. But I don't make excuses. 

Me: One thing is for sure. When you wear a scarf, bad situations avoid you. You'll never find yourself in a pub, or in a position where people are presenting you with non-religious things of temptation.

Muslimah: So what? That just means I have to work harder to find good friends who will never do that to me. And I have to work harder to avoid temptation and to make sure people know that I'm a Muslim from my words and my actions, not just my head.

Me: Has this made it difficult for you to get involved with other Muslims on campus?

Muslimah: Definitely. Don't get me wrong - there are a lot of great Muslim people on campus. But sometimes, as a group, they develop a mob mentality. They preach and judge and make claims they don't fully understand. It's disheartening, and funnily enough, its bad for my imaan to be too close to them. I know how this all sounds, and I know how terrible it seems.

Me: I can see why you'd want to remain anonymous about it. Sinner!

Muslimah: LOL. Gee, thanks.

Me: Just kidding. Thanks for sharing =). I'm sure our readers will have a lot to talk about.

Muslimah: I just hope I don't get crucified in the comments...

Me: LOL. We'll have to see...

Hey there KIH. Let me get straight to the point.

 I feel like everything in my life is going wrong and it’s not getting any better. My family just keeps fighting with each other. I understand that every family has their problems and I know as a Muslim I’m supposed to be patient but I just can’t handle it anymore. Is there anything I can do or pray to make this better? I’m going crazy and school is already frustrating me…my family is one stressor too many.

--Sister.

Assalamu Alaikum,

I totally understand how you feel. Exams are coming up, and assignments are due, and that’s pretty much the biggest bump in the road we students have to face. I know it’s hard and so far, from what I understand, you’ve been doing your best to be patient and understanding about your situation.

Allah, the Exalted, says: "O you who believe! Endure and be more patient." (Qur’an- 3:200) The patience you are exhibiting right now is the best idea. Also, try to avoid expressing any anger at your family. That is the worst way to end the problem, trust me. 
I suggest that you should talk to someone like a close friend about what you’re feeling. That’s usually the best way for me to feel better when I encounter a problem that I feel helpless about. Try not to keep things bottled up.

If you are close to your family, then may I suggest that you try and speak to them about how you feel? Maybe they don’t realize that it is affecting you as much, or perhaps they need to realize that it’s time to put things aside and love each other for the sake of Allah.

One thing that is important though, I think, is that you need to remember to focus on your school work, whatever it may be. I know it may be hard to ignore the problems at hand, but try and prioritize; tackling one thing at a time will really help ease the tension. Just keep in  mind that "Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full, without reckoning.'' (Qur’an- 39:10)

To do this, it may be best if you try to separate yourself from the situation - try to spend more time at school, on campus or with a friend. When you're at home, try to stay uniDistance yourself from the situation so you can get some perspective, and some peace of mind.

I really hope this helps. I don’t have extensive Islamic knowledge, nor am I a scholar. If you feel that you were offended or hurt in any way possible, please feel free to let me know, and I apologize in advance. Wa’laikum Salaam.

"What?!? You're going to go see Precious before the holidays? That's so depressing..."

That was the reaction I got from nearly everyone when I asked them about coming with me to see Daniel Lee's new movie "Precious" (based on the novel "Push" by Sapphire).

It's the story of a 400 pound, poor, black, 16-year-old girl who is physically, emotionally and sexually abused by both of her parents. Her first child by her father has Down's Syndrome and she is pregnant with another.

So yes, I can see how this comes off as depressing.

And yet, for some reason, it was strangely hopeful. Even with such a plot base, it wasn't sad for the sake of being sad. At its core, it reminded viewers that family is a privilege, not a right. In other words, you don't get to be a mother or daughter just by birthright. It is a title that must be earned. The role of any individual in a family has come to take on an entirely socially constructed meaning. If you don't act appropriately in your role, the title is taken away from you.

When I left the theatre, my sister said "well, if one good thing came out of that movie, it's that it really makes you appreciate your parents."

I guess. But I didn't walk in there to hear some sob story about a terrible family, so that I could feel better about mine. Instead, Precious is a story about a girl who, against all odds, decides that she is worth the fight. She decides that despite what her mother tells her, she has potential. She decides that its okay to dream big and shine on.

The acting is amazing. Mo'nique plays Precious' mother, and she is unrecognizable as her normal comedic self. And Gabourey Sidibe plays Claireece "Precious" Jones with such a quiet grace, that she deserves an Oscar simply for not overacting this role.

Paula Patton and Mariah Carey play two strong figures in Precious' life: her teacher at an alternative school, and her social worker, respectively. What becomes clear is that even though they are strong, black females... they can't handle Precious. All they can do is love her, and that's all she needs. They can't even begin to understand her.

The most compelling scene in the movie is when the social worker arranges for Precious and her mother to meet, in order to reconcile. Her mother's monologue is epic and beautiful. I streamed the movie at home online, just so I could watch that scene over and over again. The viewer sees that her pain and her problems run deep: rather than fully acknowledging that Precious was abused by her father at the age of three, she accuses Precious of "stealing her man." It's such a shocking scene.

It was interesting that KIH just recently talked about discrimination, and "crying racism" like "crying wolf" (See our article on the "Best Halloween Costume at U of T"). Many critics have accused Precious of propagated "black America" stereotypes, because it's a family of fat, violent, uneducated, illiterate people on welfare. In one scene, Precious even steals a bucket of fried chicken for breakfast.

It's a criticism that is misguided and ill-informed. It ignores that these stories do exist, and that people do lead these kinds of lives. And it ignores the other non-stereotypical, innovative black figures in her life, including her lesbian teacher, and her male nurse, played by Lenny Kravitz. It's a useless way to describe this movie. In fact, you could easily replace black Precious with a white Precious or a brown Preeti.

At the heart of it, It's a simple story about a young girl who can teach us all a thing or two about never letting anyone get in your way. She has a light in her soul, that shines for herself and everyone around her; one that we can only aspire to replicate in our own lives.

We talk a great deal about the clash of values and the clash of interests between the old and the new. Nothing made this discussion more real than this online blog I came across the other day, called "Coping with Polygamy: A First Wife's Jihad."

It is a personal and intimate account about what it was like for Umm Janna - an educated, modern and deeply religious woman -  to become part of a polygamous relationship.

What follows are some of the most fascinating excerpts from her book/blog, which is available online.

It's an interesting read because her sorrow is painfully evident. So it forces the reader to ask: is she making a sacrifice for Allah? Or is putting herself and her future children through unnecessary problems? Is she a martyr or is she the pathetic victim of a bad marriage? It is so easy to pass judgment, but so hard to actually understand what she is going through until you are living it yourself.  

_____________________
From the chapter "The Shock":
The intensity and persistence of the pain and hurt that I felt when my husband took another wife was unlike anything I had ever experienced before in my life.  Most of us probably associate the most difficult trial of all with the loss of a loved one.  When I first began writing this book, about five years ago, I hadn’t lost anyone in my family that was very close to me.  Since then I have; that was certainly a difficult period in my life. Every situation is different, though, and everyone’s reality is different. For me, polygamy continues to be the most difficult trial I have ever had to deal with.  We thank Allah for the good and the bad. I remember quite vividly the day my husband broke the news to me.  My husband, children and I were riding home in the car.  As we pulled up into the driveway for my husband to let us out before he parked, he said, “I’m marrying the [other] sister.”  I suddenly felt numb and dazed, robot-like.  I got out of the car, unlocked the front door and entered the house.  I felt almost like in a dream world.  I can recall waiting for him to say he was just kidding.  But he never did. The first night was the most traumatic of all, although many other nights and days competed closely.  Because I was still pretty much in shock, the reality of what this all meant to me hadn’t really set in.  What I did realize was a gut wrenching agony, loneliness and sadness.  The loneliness was beyond loneliness where I wished for companionship.  It was a loneliness of emptiness, one of loss.  It was at this point that I realized that I had no one but my Lord—Allah. I do not recall sleeping at all that entire night.  I made dhikr almost continuously.  When I wasn’t making dhikr I was making salat and dua.  And through all of it I cried…probably the whole night through.

For every pain that a Muslim experiences even the pricking of his finger with a thorn, some of his sins are forgiven. (Bukhari)

Some people feel they are being weak if they cry.  But according to one hadith the Prophet (saw) cried when he was saddened.  And he is the best of models.  When the son of The Prophet’s daughter was dying, she sent for The Prophet (saw).  He sent a message back for her to be patient.  She sent for him again.  He then met her and held the baby.  Tears fell from his eyes.  His companion asked, “Oh Rasullulah, what is this?”  He said, “They are tears of mercy.  And Allah does not have mercy on those who do not have mercy. (Bukharai)

_____________________
From "The Depression":
After the initial shock subsided somewhat, I went into a deep and long depression.  I felt ashamed, embarrassed, and rejected.  How could he have married someone else unless there was something wrong with me?  I had low self-esteem.  He does not love me anymore.  She has taken my place.  For the most part, Allah blessed me to stay in control of my emotions and maintain my dignity in front of others when I went out to masjid functions during the initial period. This was a very difficult period for me because almost every community activity that I attended the other sister was also there. Although I tried to conceal my feelings in public, at home is where I let most of my pain and hurt show.

Initially I did not completely comprehend how long and tiresome the journey in polygamy would be.  Fortunately Allah blessed me to have spurts of energy filled with generosity and kindness towards the other sister in the beginning.  I am not saying that there were not times that my feelings of anger and resentment did not come through.  There were certainly times that I behaved in a way that I would not consider appropriate as a Muslim sister.  But over all when I consider the intensity of the feelings that I felt at that time, and compare that with how I interacted with the sister, I conclude that my actions were generous indeed, by the mercy of Allah.

I had asked for a “divorce” several times from my husband. This was done during the earlier periods of my difficulty with polygamy.  That is not to say I do not think about divorce even now.  The pain, turmoil and unfathomable adjustment just seemed too difficult to bear.  I can see the wisdom in divorce not being in the hands of the wife.  I knew inside that I really didn’t want it.  I just wanted my husband to feel my pain and anguish and I wanted the hurt to go away. When thinking about the hardship of polygamy a sister must keep in mind that Allah Most High knows His creation better than the creation knows itself.  He knows why He has made the lawful, permissible and the forbidden, impermissible—even if we do not.  He knows the emotional disposition of the woman, for He created her.  He could have made her character different if He had chosen to.  Although it may be hard or almost impossible for a first wife to see the wisdom of polygamy for the first wife, she must suffice it to believe that Allah is sufficient to maintain her affairs.  And she must put her trust in Him.

One of several recourses some sisters take in response to their pain is going into seclusion.  This seems to be the road I have taken. I am not necessarily recommending this for anyone, but it is a choice.  Even though I was somewhat shy in the past, polygamy presented so many emotional and social conflicts for me in public that being a hermit seemed a reasonable solution. I call it being a hermit.  Some may see staying home a lot as a positive Islamic characteristic for Muslim women.  Everyone is different, and everyone has different needs.   People are inclined to various coping mechanisms, and everyone has a unique personality type.

I found myself growing less sociable as time went by.  I would often sit by myself when in public reflecting on and contemplating my situation.  I would sit staring straight ahead in thought.  Once when I was sitting in a waiting room while visiting the doctor, someone made the comment to me, “You look like you just lost your husband”.  Apparently the anguish in my face was so obvious.  It is interesting how this person chose to describe my expression, because polygamy is a loss—a loss of so many things.  It is a loss of social status, a loss of being the sole affection of your husband, a loss of normalcy in one’s life pattern and to some degree, yes, a loss of your husband himself.

My depression led to daily, and I mean daily, crying spells.  I spent so much time in my room lying in bed that I still today regret that I was unable to give my children much of the attention they needed at that time.  I can see how an extended family of grandparents and aunts would have been a great benefit to them in order to fill the void,  and Allah knows best.

_________________

Assalamu Alaikum,

I remembered hearing this particular story at an Islamic event a couple of months ago. I just wanted to share it with you in hopes to remind us all the importance of what we say. To read more interesting stories, visit http://www.livingislam.org. 

The Triple Filter Test

During the golden Abbasid period, one of the scholars in Baghdad, the capital of the Muslim caliphate at that time, was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem.

One day, an acquaintance met the great scholar and said, "Do you know what I just heard about your friend?"

"Hold on a minute," the scholar replied. "Before telling me anything I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."

"Triple filter?"

"That's right," the scholar continued. "Before you talk to me about my friend it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to say.

That's why I call it the triple filter test.

The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and.."

"All right," said the scholar. "So you don't really know if it's true or not."

Now let's try the second filter, the filter of goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?"

"No, on the contrary..."

"So," the scholar continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, but you're not certain it's true. You may still pass the test though, because there's one filter left: the filter of usefulness.

Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really."

"Well," concluded the scholar, "if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?"

___________

So the moral of the story is:

"O ye who believe! Let not some men among you laugh at others: It may be that the (latter) are better than the (former)"... Hujurat 49.12

"And spy not on each other behind their backs..." Hujurat 49.13

Assalamulikum All,

You might recall that I had written about this biannual event which the Muslim Association of Canada (MAC) holds before but, things have changed. Therefore, I’m obliged to update you all. Alhamdulilah, the event has grown and has become what one accepts for such an Eid gathering.

For one, Eid salaat was on time. The congregation was large and we were all comfortably fitted. The qutbah was short and sincere. I was at the second salaat so I’m not sure of the political guests that attended.

Heading over to the bazaar and carnival: I must say, I was thoroughly impressed. Not by the bazaar, just because I lack interest in such things (I know people love the bazaars...). Instead, it was the carnival! Forget bouncy castles: they had all-out, proper rides! Ones that swirl and make your head go dizzy! Oh, and bouncy castles as well. But, for those who didn’t want to pay for the rides or were interested in other things, there were basketball nets for 3-on-3 games and an Xbox station.

But, above all, this is where the Muslims were at. In a city so big, it can get hard to connect, especially for students that aren’t local. Providing such a venue for Eid is a noble deed that creates the sense of a greater community.

One of the organizers for the Eid Festival announced, when asking for donations, that “We do this for your kids. When your kids say we don’t celebrate Halloween or Christmas, you can tell them that we did Eid”.

So, I wish to say JazakAllah to all those who helped create such a wonderful event. Keep up the good work.  And to recommend you to attend the next wonderful Eid Festival MAC holds, if you’re in Toronto.