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“O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, indeed some suspicions are sins.
 And spy not neither backbite one another.
Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother?
You would hate it (so hate backbiting).
And fear God, verily, God is the one who accepts repentance,
 Most Merciful. “
(49: 12)
We live in a society that glorifies gossiping and thrives on spreading rumours. Magazines, tell-all books, websites and entire TV shows are dedicated to this business. Let’s face it: it works. People spend time and money to know what their favourite (and least favourite) celebrities have been up to. Everybody who is anybody has to be “in-the-know” of who- did- what and why. The funny thing is we can all acknowledge that the sources of this information are rarely credible. Yet we still pay them attention and remain in awe of their incredulous accusations.

On a large-scale, this is not seen as a problem. How could it possibly matter what little 13 year-old Tina knows about Britney Spears’ personal life? Why should it be a big deal that money is being made at the cost of someone’s privacy? After all, isn’t this what celebrities sign up for? The argument is fair. Anyone who chooses to go into the entertainment industry is making a living of being well-known, so people will know them, and will know them well. Though I don’t condone this kind of behavior or believe that it is any less a form of backbiting and slandering than any other, I want to focus on the effects this can have on a micro-scale.

I am convinced that hearsay has become so deeply embedded in our lives that we have become numb to it. We engage in idle chatter so frequently and with such little consciousness that it’s difficult to say when we’re really breaking the rules. Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W.) said :"Do you know what backbiting is?" They said, "God and His Messenger know best." He then said, "It is to say something about your brother that he would dislike." Someone asked him, "But what if what I say is true?" The Messenger of God (S.A.W.) said, "If what you say about him is true, you are backbiting him, but if it is not true then you have slandered him." (Muslim) There are many things we can say about a person, not knowing if he would mind that we said it. For example, if someone mentioned wanting to buy a new car but did not explicitly ask you not to tell anyone, you have no way of knowing whether or not he would mind if you shared the information. Perhaps if you tell someone he wants a new car, they will think you’re saying he’s a show-off or extravagant in his spending. Hence, there is a subtle implication in this hadith that we should avoid talking about one another in most cases. Silence is honoured in most faiths as it avoids erring and so we should strive to be quiet when we are uncertain. We should also remain in constant awareness of the truth of what we’re saying. It really is enough for a person to be a liar that he repeats everything that he hears. Behold, you received it on your tongues, and said out of your mouths things of which you had no knowledge; and you thought it to be a light matter, while it was most serious in the sight of God (24: 15). Relating back to rumours about celebrities, ask yourself: “Is there any way that I can be certain that this is true?” If not, why bother indulging in falsities? The more we accept less-than-true claims, the less honest we ourselves become, and what is a person without their word? "When man wakes up in the morning each day, all parts of the body warn the tongue saying, ‘Fear God as regards us for we are at your mercy; if you are upright, we will be upright and if you are crooked, we become crooked." (At-Tirmidhee) Here we’re reminded that what we say shapes our character. If our speech is good, we will inshAllah be good, too.

Lastly, I want to touch upon the idea of benevolence. We all have our judgments about one another and our beliefs that we know why people do what they do. Many a time, these aren’t good or even right. We convince ourselves that because we “know” a person, we “know how he works” and we “know how he thinks”. We should remember that actually, no one knows these things except Allah swt, often not even the person himself. I have a proposal. Let’s aim to either a) not assume a person’s intentions or b) give them the benefit of the doubt. If anyone is doing anything or accused of doing anything that could possibly be seen in a positive light, let’s see them in that light. Similarly, if anyone is doing anything that cannot be seen in a positive light, let’s remain silent about it. If they are being accused of anything that is overtly wrong, our advice is clear: Why then, did not the believers, men and women, when you heard it (the slander), think good of their own people and say: “This charge is an obvious lie?” (24:12). Let us all think good of our people as we would like our people to think of us. Also, let’s remember that in reality, there is nothing glorious or laudable about people who are ever-aware of the business of others. In fact, it’s rather unbecoming and ungraceful. We’ve all overheard backbiting being done by others and I’m sure no one’s impressed by it. Keep in mind that we, too, sound like that when we say nasty things about each other. In school, and in university in particular, we’re taught to filter information before consuming it. We’re told not to believe everything we read and to always look closely at our sources. It is my humble opinion that we need to let this kind of mentality seep into our everyday affairs as well. We all fall prey to our inclinations and this is foremost a reminder to myself. If you do say something regrettable about a person, repent to Allah swt and follow it up by saying something praiseworthy about them. The person may not hear you, but Allah swt will.
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Comments

Zenaira
05/08/2010 4:44pm

Excellent reminder, jazakillahu khairan.

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