a Muslim wedding ought to be.
No Mom I won’t tuck in my shirt or wear that lavender shirt...And No Dad, I don’t want to wear a belt for my pants or wear your old cow print suspenders...
So what if I want to ruin my appetite before what will surely be a by-invite-only congregation consisting of forced indulgence on buffet style cuisine! Ugh.
...I don't want to go!
Allow me to explain how I feel about attending a wedding during which & where:
(1) I don’t feel welcomed and
(2) I find myself repulsed by the way some or many in the numbers present carry themselves for the duration of the occasion.
I wish I were typing this from the same wedding that set me off like this so I could accurately articulate how much I despise the attitudes harbored by some people attending and organizing said weddings. In some ways these behaviors are exposed for the very first time before me, and disgusting habits including but not limited to gaudiness and narcissism surface bountifully (i.e. excessive photo taking of oneself). Finding exceptions in these behaviors are rare, nay, these seem to be the norm among the majority.
...Let me get specific because this is becoming ridiculously frequent & regular...
To my knowledge gluttony isn’t a sin in Islam but over eating is frowned upon universally by Muslims. Why do people defy healthy logic and make a three part meal the equivalent of ten merely because no one gave them a limit?! A few people, including some of my friends, claim that the only reasons they like to attend weddings are because they “...go for the food man!” Tsk Tsk...
BONUS observation: The next time you go to an Indo/Pak wedding watch how if and when anything is recited in Arabic, the women in sarees and with dupattas hurriedly cover their head for that specific moment. It’s as if someone conditioned or choreographed the covering of all the women’s heads at the mention of anything in an Arab dialect.
Providing a photo-op with the newlyweds for the guests that have been patiently waiting is a nice way to keep things interesting towards the end of the night. Don’t take it too far and have a dance session because the hall came equipped with a ballroom dance floor and you spotted a disco ball dangling from the ceiling.
Having the decency to focus on the dignified poor is an Islamic tradition easily forgotten or unobserved, for once this was held in high regard. Invite nobility and find class in gathering the poor to share a meal and a meaningful sermon with the newlyweds. This Islamic custom shows respect for the needs of others in a time reserved for the wedded couple, rather than attending only to the well-off.
The commonality of all of this is a problem!
You know what's part of the solution?
Set the proper example when your time comes, inshAllah.
Note: many of the above points were researched here & here
Also note: I've attended a few weddings recently from which I got the inspiration for this entry